Bizarre Behavior

I’m going to try describing stepdaughter’s mom’s odd behavior at the school’s meet-and-greet. It’s difficult because a lot of the behavior is contextual. It’s hard to describe, but here goes. 
Upon arrival into the classroom, stepdaughter’s mom was sitting at a desk. She waved at us as we walked in. She began by describing what happened when she realized the teacher didn’t have stepdaughter’s name on her list. To be fair to the teacher, stepdaughter just got registered last week. 

Her: I was freaking out because (stepdaughter) wasn’t on the teachers list! I had to go all the way to the office and check with them because they told me when I registered her that this was her teacher! There were two lists, and the teacher didn’t see (stepdaughter’s) name on her list. So, it’s ok. Just a mistake. But I was freaked out! I came back to the classroom and this was the only desk that didn’t have a name on it. I sat down real quick to save it for her! Oh, do you want to sit down here? I’ll move. 

Me: no, thank you. I’ve been sitting in the car for the 45 minute drive. 

I’m thinking: hu? I actually glanced around to see if there was a mob of kids making a mad dash to get this last desk. Black Friday style fighting over the last desk? Nope. 

Her: oh yeah, I’m so sorry I had to do this (meaning living 45 minutes away and changing schools again). I tried to get into the woman’s shelter (in the town where we live), but they were full. They’re full every time I call! I know it’s such a pain for you to drive here all the time. 

Me: that’s ok. I love my car so I don’t mind driving it. 

I’m thinking: WTF. Who talks about this stuff at their daughters school!?!?!  Also, tell it to the judge. 

Her: oh, I wish I could say the same! I’m so glad my mom was able to help out with the school supplies so you guys don’t have to buy them again this year! I’m sure you have a lot of bills. 

Me: uh hu. 

Her: now, do I need to pick (stepdaughter) up tomorrow morning to bring her to school? 

Me: no, it goes back to the school time schedule of us picking up and dropping off at school. 

I’m thinking: just the same as it’s been for the last 3 years! 

Her: oh, good! I love you! 

I’m thinking: did this lady just tell me she loves me? Panic! 

Me: uh hu

I wander away to pick up some fliers on the front desk. There’s a contact form for the parents to fill out their contact information. She notices. 

Her: oh, I already filled one out! 

Me: did you include dad’s phone number and email address? 

Her: oh, yes! Of course! But you can fill one out too if you want to. 

Me: well, if you already did one, there’s no need.

I rummage through my purse looking for a pen, but only come up with some Chapstick…..I’m pretty sure I was just trying to get out some nervous energy. I begin obsessively applying Chapstick to my now-dry mouth. 

Her: (to stepdaughter) oh, my lips are so dry! They are chapped and stinging. 

I quickly toss the Chapstick back in my purse. 

I’m thinking: OMG this lady wants to borrow my Chapstick!  

At this point the teacher walks up. Stepdaughter’s mom starts to introduce us. I interrupt her and introduce myself to the teacher. 

Her: (in a little girl voice…..I’m not kidding, her voice changed) Kelly will be picking up (stepdaughter) on some days after school. I already told her all about the schedule.  Tuesday’s and every other Friday. Right? 

She looks at me for confirmation! Of the parenting plan that they have been following for almost 3 years now.

Me: uh hu. 

Her: (still using her little girl voice) oh, yay! I got it right. 

At this point, I’m starting to panic. I feel like Alice falling through the rabbit hole.  Also, I’m beginning to distrust that she actually included dad’s info on the contact form. I start filling out the one in my hands. Again, nervous energy. 

Teacher: well, the every Tuesday will be easy, but I may need to be reminded of the every other weekend. 

Me: it’s ok (stepdaughter) will remember. She knows who’s house she’s going to. You won’t have to remind her. 

Her: oh, yes! She has a really good memory! 

At this point teacher wanders off. Stepdaughter and her mom are having a conversation. I’m concentrating on the contact form. I get up to drop it off on the pile of other contact forms. I then approach the teacher again to say goodbye. I ask her if there are any supplies she may need for the classroom or if she had a supply list available. Stepdaughter’s mom had snuck up behind me! 

Her: oh, we got all the supplies she needs! She won’t need anything! 

Me: (to the teacher) just let me know if there are any classroom supplies you need. I’m happy to help out over the course of the year. Just let me know. Also, last year I made myself available on Tuesday afternoons to help out with whatever her teacher needed, I’m willing to help out again on Tuesdays.  I’ll email you in the next week or so, when things settle down to make arrangements. 

She was happy to have the potential help. I made my exit soon after. 

On a side note, stepdaughter’s mom mentioned to stepdaughter that she was going to meet at school in the morning to take a “first day of school” picture. Stepdaughter made a face and shook her head “no.”  She didn’t want her mom to come to her first day of school.